Over the weekend, I had the chance to attend an Intention Setting workshop with the Detroit Writing Room. I was thrilled to be part of it, as I look forward every new year to setting goals for the year ahead.
The workshop was great. We dug deep into our core values, using these to then form reasonable and tangible goals for the year. The goals were divided into three categories: Mind, Spirit, and Body. Our coach suggested we narrow down our goals to 3-4 per category, so that they can be more attainable.
But my favorite exercise came after the goal setting. She led us through a visualization exercise in which we imagined we were in a board room, and sitting around the table were our own executive board. She asked us to think about the people who bestow wisdom, who cheer us on, who challenge us, who motivate us.
People came into my view right away, just sitting there smiling at my board room table. Once we had the people in mind, she asked us to write down their names and then place them into our goal categories- Mind, Spirit, Body. I won't go through who each person on my personal board was, but I will share one example.
My coworkers/friends Carrie and Amanda came to mind, almost immediately. Back in the Pre-Covid days, the three of us were lunch buddies. As often as we could, we would have lunch downstairs together, swapping stories, giving advice, encouraging each other, listening to each other vent. We've laughed and we've cried. But an office closure has not stopped our authentic communication. We have a group text between the three of us and we use it daily. We are having the same kind of conversations we used to have around the lunchroom. We share articles, podcasts, funny memes. We ask for advice, we encourage each other. We challenge each other. What I appreciate most of all is how honest they both are with me. So I would put Carrie and Amanda in my MIND category. They truly enrich my lives, not just because of the wonderful people that they are, but because of what we share with each other.
Back to the visualization exercise- if you take a few minutes to do this on your own, and I encourage that you do, you may notice some people who don't show up who you would have expected to show up. Our coach talked about this, and it's normal. Do not panic. Instead, it could be used as an opportunity for a conversation. You could say "hey, there's an area in my life I really need your support in, would you have the space for that". They may say no. But our coach taught us that it is better to say no and mean it then to say yes and not mean it.
I did ask myself the question, which some of you may also be wondering..."what if there are just some people who are not meant to be there?" You know the people in your life. You know if there are just some individuals, no matter how "close" they are to you, that cannot be the support that you need them to be. That's okay. Do not hold it against them, and release the expectation you have of them.
This is YOUR executive board. The individuals who show up for you are the folks you should be able to lean on- so long as they have the space to do that. Once they've come to mind, share your goals with them. Ask them to be with you on the journey, and also ask them how you can best serve them and their needs. At the end of the day, we all need each other. We aren't meant to take on this world alone.
I'll close by sharing something I wrote during one of the exercises where we were free writing our mission statement. This isn't the final draft, nor is it perfect, but it meant something to me, and maybe it will mean something to you, too
If I intentionally act with love- both for myself and others, life can be vibrant. I will be open to new opportunities because I am choosing love over fear, I will love myself enough to make the choices that are best for me, I will make a difference in the community and build community. I will embrace curiosity. There will be no space for negative self talk, and the hatred in the outside would won't seep into my own words or actions.
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