I don't know about you, but I am being inundated on social media with holiday content. Places we MUST see this holiday season, recipes for the BEST cookies you'll ever make, and, of course, gift guides.
It was really starting to get to me. I was feeling overwhelmed with the things it seemed we "had" to do. I hate crowds, and with Zack you just never know how he will react to different scenarios. But was I depriving him of childhood by not doing ALL THE THINGS?
Then we have the gifts. Tom and I are both of the mindset that gifts are not the most important thing in life. (aka, it's neither of our love language). We don't usually get each other much. And, it's important to both of us that Zack does not grow up expecting to get a mountain of presents every year. So, we are pretty minimal on what we are giving him...and some of the stuff we even got for free on our neighborhood sharing page. (A toy kitchen! Couldn't pass that up). Even though I am confident in our decision to not give him a ton of stuff, I was still feeling kind of guilty about it.
Am I bad mom because I didn't get him a ton of presents? Is he going to resent us because we didn't give him absolutely everything? When he gets older, will he feel badly when other kids are talking about all their gifts and he didn't get as much?
But as I sat here and thought about it....I thought about my own childhood.
I certainly don't remember what presents I got at 2 years old. Or 3. Or 4. You get it. I do remember the "big gifts" we got- usually my parents would get one big gift that all three of us would use. Like a Sega Genesis, a Foosball table, and, most memorably, a dog. Oh, and I of course will never forget (but kind of did when I was writing this) the year my parents got my a bunny. That's another story for another day.
What DO I remember? Making cookies, or being sent cookies by my Aunt Marty. Going over to my Uncle Joe and Aunt Terry's house on Christmas Eve, after church, and having lasagna. I remember waking up on Christmas morning and lining up at the stairs in birth order wearing our matching pj's while my mom video taped us. I remember going over to my Grandma and Grandpa's house on Christmas Day for dinner (the year I got the bunny, I brought him with me).
My ACTUAL favorite memories of childhood are not waking up to gifts on Christmas morning. They are the trips we took to Fort Walton Beach, the birthday parties in the backyard, playing with all the neighborhood kids.
I have to constantly remind myself that what is more important than the amount of presents Zack gets (or how much money we spent on them) is the quality time and memories we make together. I know there will be years he will WANT more, that comes with being a kid. But hopefully we can instill in him what is also so valuable to us: Being together. THAT is where the magic happens, not with a piece of plastic that will be donated in a year or so anyways.
I hope one day I can help him understand that everything we do, not just at Christmas time, is for him. That is the gift we will keep on giving him- being there at every milestone, comforting him while he cries, laughing with him, cheering him on in whatever he chooses to do, and providing a home, food, clothes, and education.
So if you're feeling caught up in the STUFF or the TO DO lists I encourage you to take a step back and reflect- where does the magic actually happen? What stories will your child tell one day of their childhood?
As for me, I am going to pause whenever I start to feel "less than" my friends or strangers on social media. My life and our family values are our own, not anyone else's. It doesn't have to look the way the internet wants it to look. It needs to look the way I want Zack to remember it.
Wishing you all a happy, stress free, no comparison holiday.
Comentarii