The lesson I learned in April was one I have been learning and relearning for so damn long....and it is :
Two things can be true.
It's a theme that came up a few times in April, but an example that stands out is when I was on a women's retreat hosted by my church. The retreat was a full weekend, but I only went up for the day on Saturday. It was a really nice retreat, and they made sure to carve out time for downtime. Those that had cabins took naps- but I just spent time in quiet. I sat in the sun, feeling the win on my face. I walked around the grounds, listening to music or just the waves crash into shore. As I was walking to dinner one of the other women asked me how often I get time to just- sit in silence? I told her it's very rare. And then I started babbling about toddler life and how busy it is and that I'm always chasing him and keeping him entertained. I stopped myself and said "I mean.. I love him! and it's so fun!"
She said, very sweetly "of course you do. Both of those can be true. You can love him and enjoy him but also be overwhelmed".
She was giving me permission to feel two things at once. She was also giving me permission to not have to explain myself. I didn't need to immediately dismiss being tired and overwhelmed and push it aside to gush about how much I love my kid.
I think I forget that two things can be true because we live in a world that wants everything to be black or white. It's either one way or the other, but can't be both. But what if it can be both? We might be kinder to ourselves, and to others, if we keep remembering that two things can be true.
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