When Zack was a newborn, I truly could not comprehend that the newborn phase would not last forever. I didn't see a new chapter coming. I was convinced that bottles, sleep troubles, etc. would never end. I also had many moments where I thought "I'm not cut out for this".
Spoiler alert: That phase did, in fact, end. And, somewhere along the way, I got the hang of being a mom of an infant and felt much more at ease and in control.
Enter: Toddler phase.
I'd say we're in the thick of the toddler phase now, but he's not even 2 yet so we still have some time to go. But I find myself once again having moments where I don't think I can do this. Long gone are the days of heating up bottles, putting him down for multiple naps a day, etc. But now there are new challenges. Throwing toys when he gets frustrated. Throwing his plate at dinner because he doesn't want to eat anything. Throwing every stuffed animal out of his crib at bedtime and then crying for us to come put them back in. Throwing himself on the ground when he doesn't get his way. Basically, toddler life includes a lot of throwing.
Just like the newborn days, I have a hard time imagining Zack being any older than he is right now. Preschool age is the next phase, and that seems impossible. You mean he won't always toddle around, refer to water as "wa wa", and only eat his dinner if it's covered in hummus?
But- what if- I don't HAVE to look ahead? I mean, it's always good to think about the future and anticipate what needs may be coming, but I don't need to be thinking three to four years ahead. I think we all do this, not just for ourselves but for our kids. When they are toddlers we're thinking about where they will go to Kindergarten. Then we start to think where they will go to high school. We expect 16/17 year old's to apply to go college, not considering that maybe there are other options. When they are in college we ask what kind of job they will want after college. Then we start asking them when they will get married. When will they have their first kid? How about the second kid? And then the cycle keeps on going.
What if...we just enjoyed our children in the phase they are currently in, soaked up every moment of that phase, and helped model kind, loving behavior that we can just hope and pray they emulate? What if we put less pressure on who they will turn out to be and focus on who they are now?
So let me tell you about Zack at this very moment. Aside from the whole throwing thing. He is very attached to Woody, Buzz, and Mickey Mouse. He would play outside all day if we let him, specifically if water is involved. He sometimes calls me Dada and Tom mama. He loves animals and reading books. He would much rather eat crackers and pouches than anything of nutritional value. He and I have dance parties to Taylor Swift. He likes to dip his fingers in my coffee and than lick his fingers. He has a blast feeding Leo, which really means taking handfuls of Leo's food and throwing it at him. His best friends are Anthony and Lily. He likes to go to Mimi's house and he thinks Uncle Jon is the funniest person on the planet.
I know that before I know it, these toddler years will be over. And the memories of toddler life will fade. But I am trying not to rush through it. I am trying to cherish it. Some days that is much easier than others.
Comments