The last thirteen weeks of my life have been a constant learning experience. Since babies don't come with manuals (but they should), we've had to just figure things out just as every new parent does.
A week and a half ago, I made yet another transition by returning to work and thus becoming a full time working mom. And I gotta say, I'm adjusting about 1000 times better than I imagined that I would.
I must admit, I think being able to work from home has made my transition a little easier. Eliminating the rush of having to get to an office on time, and having to wear "real" clothes does take away some of the stress. I'm able to drop Zack off at daycare, come back home and walk the dog before starting my laptop up for the day.
But here's the real secret to why I think I'm having a pretty okay transition: I love my job.
My job fuels me, it brings me joy, it makes me feel like I am making a difference in the world. The people I work with are incredible, and I have no choice but to want to do well so that ALL of us can succeed. I'm proud of the work that I do, and like to think that Zack would admire the work I do if he could understand it. I truly want nothing more than to see a world without cancer, so I am going to dedicate my working hours to doing my part in this fight.
I've also set boundaries. Pre Zack, I would have no issue working late, answering emails or finishing up projects. Now? I'm done at 5. I only get so many hours in a day with Zack, I am not letting them pass by.
And, I've adjusted my workout schedule to workout at 5:30 Am. I love my sleep, but, evening workouts take out some vital time with Zack. The way we are flowing now is that I go workout, Tom is feeding Zack by the time I get home, so then I eat my breakfast and take him to daycare. It's working well for us, for now. I get my workout in, which is really better for all parties involved. I am in a better head space when I get my workouts in.
I must admit, that even though it's going really well so far, and that I am comforted in knowing Zack is at an awesome daycare, I do still get lonely. It's hard to find other moms with babies the same age as Zack. I've got an incredible support system and so many people who care about our little family- but I am seeking others who are in similar life journeys as I am. In a world with Covid, it's hard to find that.
So, thank you to anyone whose made me feel a little less lonely. Those who have texted/called to see how I'm doing. Those who sent gift cards for coffee. Those partners who asked to see pictures of Zack. I have certainly learned that as I navigate these new chapters, it is imperative to surround myself with people I can lean on and learn from. And it's my hope that one day, others can lean on and learn from me as well.
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