My dad had a few signature phrases, but one that he used to tell my mom and I often was "surround yourself with the tools you need to survive". He was telling us, in his own words, that in order to get a handle on anxiety, we needed to keep things handy that would help us.
It took me a long time to actually do this. I don't know why, exactly, but I've lived a lot of my life just coping with the anxiety on my own. And honestly, really suffering. I'm here to tell you that it does not have to be like that! You deserve better and you are worthy of living a life full of light.
Before I share what my tools are, a few discretions. 1. What works for me may not necessarily work for you. But hopefully, this will allow you to start to build your own toolbox. Think about the things you might need to feel better, and USE them. 2. Just because I have all the tools does not mean I have all the answers, and certainly does not mean I am cured. I still have to fight every single day. I'll go more into that in later blog posts.
For now, here are the tools I am currently using to help me cope.
Medication: I am not ashamed to say I am on medication. It certainly plays a huge role in helping me stay mentally well. I am choosing not to share what medication specifically I take, as this is something very personal to each individual person. If you think you may need medication, please speak to your doctor. Ladies, you can speak to your OB/GYN. They may have suggestions or be able to recommend you to a psychiatrist.
Therapy: This may seem like a "duh". But I got very lucky and found the right therapist a few years ago and I have been seeing her every other week since. She has given me tangible ways to get myself out of a panic. She has helped me to create boundaries. She's encouraging and understanding and just- gets it. I personally think everyone should be in therapy and it's a damn shame our country does not prioritize mental health enough to make it affordable for everyone. If you are considering therapy but not sure where to start, you can always check with your doctor for a recommendation. If you're not comfortable with that, I'd suggest going to https://www.psychologytoday.com/us . You can do a search for a therapist in your area and narrow down your search by certain filters.
Vitamins: Again, I'm not going to tell you what vitamins to take, but I take Vitamin D, Iron, and a Probiotic every morning. I use Care/Of, so my vitamins come in a little packet that I can just open every morning. It decreases the amount of pill bottles laying around.
Working Out: My Goodness, teenage and twenty something me would never believe that working out is such a vital part of my life. For me, working out is truly an escape. A chance to sweat it all out, not think about anything else, and let out some aggression. I've done tons of different workouts over the years- Zumba, Yoga, running (ew). But, for the past couple of years, I have called The Barre Code home. I could write
an entire blog post about what I love about The Barre Code, but a few highlights include : the community feel, the empowerment (NEVER do they talk about weight loss, always about getting strong and the mind/body connection). And, the variety of the workouts! Yes, there is the standard "barre" class but they also offer a Bootcamp, a cardio kickboxing class called Brawl, a HIIT, and most recently, a Strength Training. If you're local to me I would LOVE to take you to a class (now that we are open again) but one of the magical things about The Barre Code is that there is now a virtual option! I've been using it to workout from home for pretty much the last year and I love it. Not only are there so many class times to choose from, but now I can take classes from instructors all across the country. Shoutout to Gena in Texas and Kacie in Nebraska! But yes, my friends, simply moving your body just a little bit can really help!
Music: I have loved music for as long as I can remember. Specifically, I love when lyrics can make me FEEL things. I also love to dance, even though I legitimately have no rhythm. I am always listening to music and discovering new artists. I can also entertain myself for hours on Spotify by creating different playlists. There's been a couple of particularly bad days in 2020 where I just curled up on the couch and turned on either Taylor Swift or Hamilton- both comfort me in very different ways.
Books: I've also always been a big reader. And books can offer such an escape. Once when I was in a pretty bad slump my husband, who was my fiance at the time, gently suggested I start reading again. It helped! My favorite genre is historical fiction, and my least favorite is fantasy or sci/fi. In 2020, I started a book club with some of the girls from The Barre Code! We were only able to meet three times in person before Covid came along, but we got close FAST. We met virtually or outside, and now that it's cold we are back to virtual. They are so special to me and I love that we share a love of reading and exploring new worlds.
CALM powder: This is a new tool! It was recommended by a friend of mine. I have noticed a difference right away- it helps me to sleep but does not leave me feeling groggy like Melatonin. And, I feel like my energy level has increased during the day. Bonus, it helps with headaches. And since being virtual 24/7 and the stress of you know...everything... I have been getting a LOT of headaches. You can buy this on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Natural-Vitality-Anti-Stress-Supplement-Raspberry/dp/B00BPUY3W0
Journaling: I am not a daily journaler (not a word?), but I try to do it every so often just to pour my words out onto paper and get them out. They don't always make sense, and sometimes aren't even complete sentences, but it's a release.
Tik Tok: Don't knock it until you try it! I was anti Tik Tok for a while, for no damn reason. That app is gold. There's just so many funny people! And, like any social media site, it caters to your liking. So, my "for you" page is pretty full of all things Taylor Swift, books, working out, and mental health. All things I have mentioned here :) I also enjoy sending funny tik toks back and forth to my friends. Sometimes, friends, we just need a laugh.
Getting Outside: 10/10 recommend getting a dog. Ha! Okay but seriously, having my dog has significantly helped my mental health. We all know 2020 was hard, and I am literally home all day, every day now. Knowing that I had a dog depending on me to get outside helped me get out of bed! We have quickly developed a routine and go for two walks a day. 1 mile in the morning and a shorter walk in the evening, when I am done with my workout. Of course, this is much more fun when it is warm and sunny outside, but any fresh air helps.
That's it for now my friends. I am always discovering new tools, but these are the ones that part of my daily routine, aside from the standard ole family and friends, of course :)
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