A few weeks ago I was driving my husband to work since his car was getting new tires. On the way, he asked me if there was a restaurant I would want to go to if I didn't have to worry about gluten or dairy. (Side note: Why can I never spell restaurant correctly and have to rely on spell check to help me?)
I was diagnosed as "gluten and dairy" sensitive in 2019. These days, I don't seem to be as sensitive to gluten as I once was, but I still try to avoid it. Dairy and I are not friends. I also developed a shellfish allergy somewhere along the way. Oh, and I haven't eat red meat since I was in my early 20's.
When Tom asked me this question, my immediate knee jerk response was to brush the question off, say "I don't know", and drop the conversation.
I wasn't sure why I had such response to my husband just trying to make conversation. Until I thought about it more.
It's because I haven't had a "normal" restaurant experience in at least 12 years. Possibly longer.
Prior to the dairy and gluten thing, I had been dieting for years. If I went out to eat, I carefully thought out my meal either before arriving (googling the menu) or weighing my options once I was there. I would mentally calculate how many calories I had already eaten that day and what I was "allowed" to have. I thought about how I could substitute to lessen calories (no bun, steamed veggies instead of fries, no sauces or dressing). If a menu had a calorie count next to items on their menu, I mentally shut down. Seeing how many calories were in something was like hanging me a bomb. I wanted nothing to do with it so I would choose the item with the lowest calories. For me, choosing what to eat at a restaurant has not been about "what sounds good" or "what looks good" for a very long time. It's been about what fits into my diet.
I legitimately do not remember what it feels like to go to a restaurant and order what I WANT to eat, not what I think I should eat.
I have no idea if anyone else experiences this. I do not remember what it's like to be carefree when it comes to going out to dinner. If you can go in and not give what you're eating a second thought, I applaud you. You should eat what you want to eat without guilt.
Somewhere along the way, society taught me that fries and bread and ranch dressing were "bad" and that I should not eat them. I was taught to dip my fork into dressing before getting a forkful of salad so that I reduce my dressing use. I was taught not to drink pop so that I wasn't "drinking calories". I learned these things from magazines, talk shows, the news, the internet.
It is my hope that we change the conversation. While I believe health is important, I wish we would talk about it in a way that does not shame or cause guilt. I also wish restaurants would abolish putting calorie counts on their menu so that 20 something year old girls don't cry in a booth in distress over what they "can" or "can't" have.
We're not there yet, but maybe one day we will be.
Oh, and the answer to Tom's question- "where would you eat if you didn't have to worry about gluten or dairy?" is: McGuire's in Destin, FL. Legit, some of the best food I have ever had. And I'd get the fries. When Tom and I went there for our honeymoon, I ordered grilled fish with a side of fruit and cottage cheese. ON MY HONEYMOON!
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