The long story short is: I have been searching for a "church home" since I was roughly 19 years old, and I finally found it at 35.
And that may be enough for you.
But I am ready to talk more openly but how I got here, and all the ups and downs along the journey. I think this blog will have to be two parts... so if you're interested, settle in. Here is part 1.
I grew up Catholic- I was baptized in a Catholic Church, attended Mass every week, and went to a Catholic school. I do not regret that. My parents sacrificed a lot to send us to that school, and I received an excellent education. I don't know that I thought much about religion at the time- just that going to church was something we did, religion class was part of our day at school. I do have a vivid memory of watching a video about nuns when I was in 4th grade and thinking to myself "well, I want to help people, too. Maybe I am being called to be a nun". I wrestled, internally, with how I would know for sure if I was "being called". Overall, my relationship with Religion from ages birth to 13 was that it was just something that we did, and that there were a lot of rules.
I went on to attend an all girls, Catholic High School. Which were truly 4 amazing, incredible years. I absolutely loved my high school. I was also exposed to different religions- although we were a Catholic school, not everyone was Catholic, so I learned a lot about other religions from my classmates and friends. (I legitimately spent several years thinking everyone was Catholic). I took a World Religions class. I visited my friends Baptist church, where her dad was the pastor. And I learned a heck of a lot about service. We did many service projects, retreats, etc. I also was heavily involved in the pastoral ministry office and helped to plan our prayer services and retreats. I went to church every so often on Sundays, but mostly, my "Religion" was at school.
Service and retreats and such were such a huge part of my high school life, that I thought I would jump into that in college. I knew where the Catholic church was on campus....but I did not step foot into it until senior year. The years prior, I was...well I was what you'd call a hot mess. Except like, not hot. I had no idea really what I wanted to do or who I wanted to be, I became friends with folks I normally would not have. I started to dip back into religion by way of music. I became a big fan of Mandisa from American Idol, and her world of Christian/Gospel music was something I became aware of. I think, if I had enough guts to put myself out there more, I very well could have fallen into an Evangelical Christian church. At the time, I was following a lot of folks from that world on social media. Sometimes I wonder how different I would be if I had gone that route. But I was too lazy to really commit to anything. During my senior year of college, when I had settled down but still desperate for a community, I finally started going to that Catholic church on campus. Sometimes. I attended a retreat or two, went to Mass once every few months, and that was about it.
Toward the end of my time in college, I was starting to apply for jobs. I still had zero clue what I wanted to do with my life. It was also 2009, during the recession. One night, probably in the middle of the night when I was panicked about finding a job, I started looking for jobs that were associated with my high school. My school had been sponsored by the Sisters of Mercy, a congregation of Catholic nuns. I stumbled upon a program called Mercy Volunteer Corps, which is basically like Americorps/Teach for America, but with a religious twist. The program was sponsored by the Sisters of Mercy and volunteers were placed across the country, doing work at various sites (schools, health clinics, homeless shelters, etc). Because it is volunteer based, you only get a small stipend every month, but your housing is all paid for. So I applied- and was accepted. I was placed in my own state, which is rare.
My time in MVC was transformative. My community members (roommates) and I attended different Catholic churches across the city of Detroit. We volunteered at each others service sites. We held a "spirituality night" where we would take turns leading us through some sort of spirituality exercise. But above all, this is when I learned about social justice. Sure I had heard of the term before, but I saw it in action, every single day. I learned of the work the Sisters of Mercy were doing all across the city, state, and country. I was blown away by their dedication to serving those who were most vulnerable. I also noted how accepting they were. I felt at home amongst the Sisters, and although I was confident I did not want to become a nun, I did want to model my life after what they were doing. But, I did not have a church "home". We eventually landed on going to the church in our neighborhood, but I knew once the year was over and I moved away, I probably wouldn't come back.
This feels like a good place to stop. We will pick up with part two tomorrow.
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