A few weeks ago I heard a postcat interview with writer Elizabeth Gilbert, where she was talking about her "Letters from Love" project.
Essentially. Elizabeth starts off journal entries by writing "Love, what would you have me know today?".
She then lets that response pour out, whatever thoughts come to her mind with that prompt gets written down. Her belief is that "Love" is God/a Higher power, speaking to her through her thoughts.
And that may seem woo woo to some of you, but it's something that I was really struck by. And I've been thinking about it ever since.
Actually, I've been thinking about it off and on for about 15 years or so.
I had similar thoughts back when I was 21, because I wondered if when I prayed and had little conversations with God in my head, if that was ACTUALLY God or just my imagination.
I asked a nun about this, and I remember her response clear as day. She told me that there is a famous quote from Joan of Arc which says "how else would God speak to me, if not through my imagination?". She reminded me that God gave me my imagination. Of course He/She is going to use it.
At Church today, our Pastor started his message by saying that so often we are asking "where is God?". He then reminded us that God is within us...and that instead of asking what can God do for us, we need to trust that God is and can work through us. He also reminded us that the image of God we were born with does not have to be the image of God we end with.
And that, right there, is why I think I have had such a hard time believing that God could be talking back to me, or that God is within my own thoughts. Because I grew up with a very different image of God. I belived God was a man (who looked. a lot like a Catholic priest) in the sky, and that in order to be loved by God we had to do things "right". That we had to consistently ask God for forgiveness if we slipped up. In my mind, God was powerful, almost like a superhero that we called on when we needed saving. It's no wonder I didn't believe that God was talking to me.
I don't know what my "image" of God is now. Truly, I don't know that I need an image. Instead, I lean in on God being love. Protective, comforting, peaceful, compassion, those are words I used to define God.
When I first heard Elizabeth's podcast interview, I wasn't sure if I would be able to adopt her practice. I felt sort of scared of what "love" or God would say to me. But there's been a few moments since listening where I have wondered outloud
"hey... you here?"
And I've gotten a response. It's been varied from things like "always here". Or "Yes, and I never went anywhere".
I haven't gone much further than that with my dialogue because I closed myself up. But I think I am getting closer to being open.
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