Expectations

I have a running list of things I want to write about on my blog. And something that keeps crossing my mind is the topic of expectations.

I often lay out scenarios in my head of how I think things will go. For example, when we went to the farm last Saturday I kept imagining how much Zack would love it, how excited he would be. Even while we were there, after he was pretty apathetic, I thought well we just need to move to the sheep. He LOVES sheep. He will be so excited. He wasn't. He was terrified.

I also set expectations on PEOPLE. Which really is not fair to either them or me. No one should have to live up to anyone's expectations of them. We are all our unique beings with faults and flaws and we WILL make mistakes.

And then, of course, I expect a lot of myself. I expect that I am going to excel in my work, as a mom, a wife, etc. Because I do not like to let people down, or to make a mistake. Right now, I'm in a place where I simply cannot perform at work the way I am used to. I have too much on my plate. And it's incredibly hard to sit here and KNOW that I am not able to do the things I want to be doing. Not because I am not capable. I simply do not have time. But because I set an expectation of myself that I will be all things to everyone, I am struggling with no longer being able to be that person.

I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to have expectations, but I do think I need to work on lowering mine- of things, people, and myself. I need to recognize that not everything will go according to the way I think it will...that people will not act how I want them to act...and that I am allowed to take a pause and to make mistakes.

I am making a promise myself to do my best to enter every situation that comes my way with an open mind. Things may go perfectly and they may not. I think sometimes it is in the "may not" situations where you find surprises.

Instead of expectations, I'm going to practice gratitude and to figure out what I can learn from each situation. That seems like a more peaceful way to live.